Tue 21 Aug 2007
My Irish friend sent me an email about these joke.
Definition of an Irish husband:
He hasn’t kissed his wife for twenty years, but he
will kill any man who does.
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Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife
makes him walk.
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The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish
fight so often among themselves is that they’re always
assured of having a worthy opponent.
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An American lawyer asked, “Paddy, why is it that
whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers
with another question?
“Who told you that?” asked Paddy.
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Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury
foreman came out and announced, “Not guilty.”
“That’s grand!” shouted Reilly. “Does that mean I can
keep the money?”
————————————————————-
Irish lass customer: “Could I be trying on that dress
in the window?”
Shopkeeper: “I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.”
————————————————————-
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, “Is that you I
hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantle piece?”
“No,” said himself, “but I’m gettin’ closer all the time.”
————————————————————-
Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to
control a wife?
A. A bachelor.
——— —————————————————-
Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up
’til two o’clock in the morning. I can’t break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin’ at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin’ for me to come home.
————————————————————-
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.
“Quick!” He said. “Send an ambulance, my wife is goin’
to have a baby!”
“Tell me, is this her first baby?” the intern asked.
“No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin’.”
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“O’Ryan,” asked the druggist, “did that mudpack I gave
you improve your wife’s appearance?”
“It did surely,” replied O’Ryan, “but it keeps fallin’ off!”
———— ————————————————-
Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all
night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual
relations to arrive?
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My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine
giving up your sex life and then once a week people
come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs
